Once

painful memories
passing by
hearing voices
deep inside
wandering around
without a clue
tracing steps
I once knew
I hear a voice
call my name
I remember now
that mans name
I walk thru darkness
blindly stumbling
needing light
but finding emptiness
I do not feel
not pain
not joy
just nothingness
I exist
day to day
without love
without feeling
alone
in a world
full of people
inside
with the world
just beyond
my front door
I am scared
if I open it
what will happen
will I be
accepted
rejected
unnoticed
no one stays
long enough
to accept me
no one cares
enough
to reject me
no one looks
close enough
to notice me
so alone again
I stand
amongst this crowd
of people
all around
and yet
no one sees
my pain
my anguish
my fear
my pride
oh wait
I have
no pride
no dignity
that was
all taken
long ago
but no one
looks
deep enough
inside me
to see
what once was
what could be
what cannot
ever
be shown
again